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Want to be in peace? Then stop judging

Judging others is what we do almost all the time. We do it both consciously and unconsciously. We comment on the couple we see at the bus stop. We say bad things about our neighbour who was too busy to notice us smiling at them. We replay in our mind the negative behaviour of our relatives the moment we see them. Nothing goes without judgement. No matter who they are, from their behaviour to the way they dress, there are always something to judge about.

Do you know when we think negatively about someone near us, we vibrate out the negative thoughts to them. This creates unfriendliness, and even worse hostility in the air. Sometimes unintentionally, it shows in our facial expression. We started hostility before anyone even do anything. We didn’t even give them the chance to show their good side. Isn’t that cruel?

When judging, it is easier to judge negatively than positively. Therefore, judging others does more bad than good. Don’t look for trouble when you don’t have one. Learn to stop judging. It is difficult in the beginning, but it is worth the effort if you want to live in peace. The key is to be aware of your thoughts, always.

Every time you catch yourself judging others, just stop immediately. Say “I’m sorry” in your mind and mean it. Remind yourself that what you saw was just like a part of a big building. If a part of it is dirty, it doesn’t mean that the whole building is dirty. There is always a part of it that is clean. Think of the positive side. Sometimes people misbehave when they are under certain circumstances. There may be some reasonable explanation for their behaviour. Even if it is not true, you have nothing to lose. You create a peaceful environment and that vibrates to others. You avoid unnecessary hostility.

When you are alone, memories of the past keep on coming back, especially that which affects you emotionally. You are concern about your relatives or friends. You judge their action as inappropriate. But the truth is, you are not 100% sure. You judge from what you know. And in judging we make a lot of assumptions, which in reality most of the time is not true. It is not our right to judge them. And it is not our business to be over concerned about their life. So why bother. Just because they irritated you or being showy, you have to judge them. Their action is their choice. And your response is yours. Be wise. Every time those memories keep on bugging you, remind yourself that it is non of your business. Decide to let it go and not to think about it not even a thought. Instead replace them with thoughts of what you wish to improve in your life. After all, you have no control over others, you only have control over yourself.

By not judging others, you save your energy and time. Your mind chatter stops the moment you stop judging others. This allows you to focus better on your task at hand and be in your present moment. And finally, always remember that there is beauty in every soul. See and feel them through your heart. Appreciate them. Love others, love yourself and you will be in peace.

About the author: Nur Nuha loves helping others to improve their lives. Feel free to contact her at nurnuha@learn-wisely.com