Seven Behaviors for Creating the Life You Want
The key to success lies in how well you create an “attitude of success.” My studies have shown that combined with the correct attitude, there are seven behaviors that all successful people exhibit.
When I talk about successful people being selfish, I am not referring to the childish behavior where everything is “mine, mine, mine.” I am referring to a mature selfishness that allows them to make decisions based on the outcomes they want to experience.
Being selfish asks, “How do I protect my time, energy, and money so I am only spending them on those things that will take me closer to my goals?” Until you can define the type of life you want to create, it is very hard to be selfish. You can define this life through the creation of a personal vision and mission statements. After your personal vision and mission statements are complete you can create well-defined goals. After your goals are defined you can go through a barrier-busting process that will help you understand how to achieve these goals. When you complete this step, you can start being selfish. You have your personal goals defined, you know the kind of life you want, and you are ready to seek out and meet the people who can take you there.
It is very hard to be focused if you don’t know where you are going. The dictionary defines focus as “close or narrow attention; concentration.” Without a clear perspective you cannot focus on the desired outcome. It is too easy to become distracted, unorganized, and inconsistent. When you understand what it is you are to be selfish about, you generate a clear focus--a sense of purpose. Discipline
Discipline is controlled behavior resulting from training and self-control. You are selfish and focused, and you now have a new weapon in your arsenal: discipline. Your mind is made up. You have decided to achieve your goals.
Being disciplined means you will not abandon your goals. Since you are creating the life you want, discipline is another tool of your success. Discipline has taught you that life is not smooth and that there are rough spots. Experience has taught you that by being disciplined, you can get through the tough spots. Your eye is on the target, and you have the discipline of a laser-guided missile; you seek out your objectives, and your focus never falters.
Persistence can be defined as the continuance of an effect after the cause is removed. The defining moment that caused you to create your ideal life is behind you. Your goals are clear; you are focused, disciplined, and selfish. You encounter unplanned obstacles. Your persistence allows you to see these obstacles not as problems, but as opportunities. After all, if it was easy, anyone could accomplish what you are accomplishing. But not everyone is on the field of battle with you. They see obstacles and stop. You see obstacles and see opportunities.
You keep your eyes clearly fixed on your objectives; you try different things to overcome these obstacles. You know where you are going. You know you can’t be stopped. You know that your persistence is what drives you forward. You will find a way around any obstacle. Ownership
Ownership is the state of being an owner. It is taking the legal right to the possession of a thing. These are your dreams, your goals, and your life; if you do not take ownership for achieving your dreams, who will? As Jesse Livermore said, “There are only two emotions in the market--hope and fear. The problem is, you hope when you should fear, and you fear when you should hope.”
But not you. Your fear is motivation to move you forward because you learned that when you take action, you get results. You always hope for the best and plan for the worst. You are ready for what life throws at you. You have to be. Taking ownership is about change--making change to move forward, changing behaviors that are not working, possibly changing your friends who don’t understand, dealing with the world as it is and not as you want it to be.
You own the outcome because you are clear where you want to go, and you take ownership for it. With ownership you know that if you are not getting your desired results, you can take action and change the outcome. Ownership is so very empowering. You know that if you do not have the skills, you can learn or hire someone to teach you.
Orientation toward Results
Results mean to end in a particular way. You defined your goals--the outcome you want to achieve. You defined how you want things to end, and because you took ownership, you now have the power to create your desired outcomes. You can create the results.
When you don’t get the results you want, you fall back on persistence, ownership, focus, and discipline and know that you have the skills, the drive, the desire, the knowledge, and the road map that will take you where you want to go. Results are simply a way of measuring your success. You either get the job done, or you don’t. If you don’t, because of your ownership, you go back and try something different. No excuses. No remorse. Only results. You understand, as Yoda once said, that “there is no trying, only doing.”
Focus on People
Every successful person understands that his success comes with and through other people. A successful person will recognize these individuals and appreciate them for their contribution to the results. He will also assume complete responsibility for things not working. He must--there is no other course of action when you are the owner and take ownership.
About the Author: This article was written by Ronald Finklestein, contributing author to "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." Finklestein, President of AKRIS, LLC, small business success expert, business coach, consultant, speaker, author, and trainer, has published two books: Celebrating Success! Fourteen Ways to a Successful Company and The Platinum Rule to Small Business Success. You can contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org or reach him at (330) 990-0788. Sign up for his newsletter at http://www.yourbusinesscoach.net His article above is one of 101 great chapters that can be found in "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2." This powerful compilation book -- with John Gray, Jack Canfield, Richard Carlson, Bob Proctor, Alan Cohen, and countless other experts -- contains 101 chapters of proven advice on how to improve your life.